why the specialist only corrected the right, but I had ptosis on my left eye as well and the muscles on my left eye area/brow worked overtime to keep my eyes open. I also had double eyelid surgery, which made my eyes looked better for a few years. In 2018 when I noticed my left eyelid was larger than my right, I hastily and stupidly when back to the plastic surgeon who performed my double eyelid surgery to have my left eyelid lowered. The thing is it’s impossible to lower an eyelid and the Ethel Cain I’m gonna regret this forever shirt would have been to increase the height of my right eyelid to match my left. After the surgery to my left eyelid I have upper eyelid hollowness as he removed too much fat and A-frame deformity. Later that year I had bilateral ptosis repair. My eyelids are deformed now after those multiple surgeries and from certain angles makes me look like a mutant. I’ve contemplated suicide over it. People react negatively to me. I can understand strangers reacting negatively because they see what they see and don’t know my history, but it hurts seeing friends and family react negatively to me even though they know about my surgeries but forget, which is understandable but they can at least be honest and ask about it, rather than just reacting negatively. I’ve been avoiding socialising.
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